How does one fall over on a treadmill...that wasn't even moving? How do you even fall over a freakin treadmill? I'll tell you how. You just need to balance a spray bottle of Windex and cleaning wipes in one arm, while reaching over the treadmill with the other arm in an attempt to open the blinds of the window behind it. Then, to gain leverage, you maneuver your foot so it rests dangerously between the base of the treadmill and the bottom of the side bar. Then you actually think this will all work and aim for those blinds by reaching over the side bar with your body weight. Then the next thing you know you are lying on your back wondering if you need someone to help pick up the remains of your body with a shovel.
Easy.
Also, I've become very paranoid about everything these past few days. First it was the possibility of illness-causing microscopic caterpillars in the lettuce at restaurants. Then, the OCD behavior of locking my car even though I clearly heard my car beep the first eight times. And now, I am paranoid that my neighbors let their children play on the trampoline at 2 am just to spite me. Like HA HA, we know you're an insomniac so we're just gonna rub it in by worsening it. Whatever. I can't wait until tonight when I don a monster costume, jump over the wall, and pelt the little bastards with gobstoppers.
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A light anti-depressant will stop all that behavior. I take Lexapro and THANK GOD.
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