The Hazards of Test-taking

The neuroanatomy exam is FINALLY over. I was so sleep deprived for the past two nights studying for it, I almost passed out when I got to #16. When I started seeing colors after #23, I had to lay my head down for a minute. The worst part about taking exams in lecture halls is that they are proctored by two faculty members who intently watch the students taking the exam. This is understandable when you think of the people who cheat, but for the rest of us whose biggest rebellion phase involved mixing Sprite with Fanta at a party, it is like having a dwarf attached to your shoulder. You can't ignore it.

Especially when you're trying to recall information. My natural tendency is to look up at the ceiling silently pleading with my brain to deliver the answer because God knows I busted my ass studying it the night before. But the awkward phase is when you happen to look up and make eye contact with the proctor.

Now, friends, making eye contact with the proctor is the worst thing that can happen to a student during an exam. Once you have locked eyes and then quickly looked away, the following series of questions and thoughts begin to arise in your head:

Does he think I'm cheating? Dude, why was he watching me in the first place? OMG. Do I look like a cheater? Dammit, I always KNEW my face sucked. Should I act casual? But what's casual? Do I look like I'm trying to hard to be casual now? Should I stretch casually. Crap! Does he think I'm stretching to look at someone's paper? OMG is he still watching me? Should I check to make sure? But if I look up at him again, will he be even more suspicious? OMG, he's WALKING OVER HERE! I knew it, I'm going to get kicked out of school! OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Then, he walks right past you and for the rest of the exam, you are a paranoid heap of all things useless, and afraid to look at any object besides your test form. And God forbid, you turn around in your seat to check the clock lest the proctor pulls out a semiautomatic and shoots you in the face.

Man, I'm just glad THAT's over.

This was me exactly one hour after stumbling out of the lecture hall: